Why did Man United sh*t the bed again?

Why did Man United sh*t the bed again?

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This is Peak United
Always fun to laugh at the Arsenal achieving new heights of ‘Peakness’ just as you think they can peak no more, but surely vs Hull was peak United.

Give supporters hope that we are one win from becoming relevant – Check
Blow chance to become relevant – Check
Do it after teams above drop points – Check
Do it against team expected to beat – Check
Ensure repeat the previous three years of two steps forward, one step back – Check
Best chance of the game goes to opposition – Check
Kindly slow down any transition to enable opponents to organize defense – Check
Consistently cut ball back instead of crossing/playing a through ball or shooting – Check
Play whole game in front of back four and bring on players who can only play in front of back four – Check
Forget that Rooney has been sh*t for six years and expect him to change game – Check
Try and keep sanity as commentator remarks how unlike Rooney to miscontrol or give away possession
Take lots of shots but never look like scoring – Check
Complain about refereeing – Check (Jumping with studs to land on knee is horrendous but cough offside goals cough)
Lead journalists down an obvious path to set up delivery of your punchline in attempt to distract from game – Check

FFS – how many chances are we going to waste to get out of sixth?
Matt (United, NYC)

Jose has to encourage self-loathing
United can’t score. Even when they score, it’s like an accident and deep down they still can’t score.

Not much has been written about this (though it was mentioned in Winners and Losers the other week); I’d suspect because nobody can offer an explanation. My own theory is that this profligacy is the last remnant of the accept-second-best (sixth best) while-commenting-on-each-other’s-instagram-posts attitude that Mourinho has been systematically destroying since taking over.

After I watched the video of Jesse Lingard and Pogba dancing yesterday, I cried real tears at the absolute arsenaling that’s taken place at my club since Ferguson left. Everyone just happy to be there, win or lose, playing football with their mates, going to each other’s houses to play Fifa and get haircuts and pizza afterwards. United can’t score because deep down, in the part of their psyche that should be filled with sick Keano-esque self-loathing and inward-directed soul-violence at the mere idea of missing a chance, a little voice is saying ‘Ooh, but didn’t you do well just to get into the position! Well done! Don’t beat yourself up if you miss! Another chance will come along!’

Mourinho’s man-management has been fantastic all season but this is the last and biggest challenge. Interestingly enough, the “bad luck” his team have had in front of goal is the one area in which he’s consistently defended his players.

Expect him to start naming names in the next few weeks.
Stephen O’S, MUFC

…So that is it then isn’t it?

I know they are another 15 games in this season, but I am ruling United out of the top four.

It is incredible to see how little ambition this side has. We certainly have the names, our squad looks half decent and there is no one we could’ve signed in the January window who would’ve made a significant difference to this side. But where is the appetite?? At the beginning of the season when we were drawing, it all just seemed to be poor luck, but it is clear now that this United side, rather than just receive our gift horse, have proceeded to stare right into its mouth and turn it away.

It was quite clear from the 15th minute that we were going to struggle. Hull had placed their attacking front four to sit just in front of Carrick, Rojo and Jones and it was quite clear that they were trying to choke the play and keep it restricted to our half and about 10 yards into theirs, but did Herrera and Pogba (bad game from Herrera, absolute crap from Pogba) pick up on this? Quite simply, no. So Jones pushed further forward which allowed Hull to then just stick 10 men behind the ball, choking out all avenues of play, which then led us to chipping the ball over the backline, which was going really well, but Zlatan fluffed his lines at every opportunity (he was poor today too, Rashford is young, so he gets a pass)! I could go on into the balls played to feet but that’s whipping a dead horse.

What ever happened to in-game management? Yes, the manager gives you a game plan, but they’re not always 100% accurate so you adjust your game to the run of play, but we never tried to do that at any one stage. Taking Carrick off was a huge mistake and we paid for that by plodding through the entire second half with no one taking control of the midfield (the summer can’t come soon enough). This United side needs a swift hammer cracked across their collective domes (glad to hear Mason’s recovery is going well), you are not entitled to a win by virtue of playing for United. We may be the biggest commercial club in the world, but we are definitely worthy of sixth place in the Premier League and unless there is a serious attitude shift, we will continue down this road with our noodle and tractor partnerships and no trophies to justify that embarrassment.
J.D MUFC (any point talking about the referees?), Nairobi

…Where to begin with Manchester Ushited and Hull?

– I know you good folks at F365 recently done an article praising Valencia as United’s ‘Mr.Consistency’. Well if anything, that is an indictment to the current level of the team as a whole, and the lofty aspirations that they surely possess. While he has played worse this season, his apparent one-man mission to give the ball away when in the vicinity of the opposition’s area continues to grate. Physical attributes should be the preserve of the NFL Combines, not modern day football. If you could extrapolate those attributes to Blind on the other side, you would have a serious baller (he had a cross in injury time that has exceeded anything Tony V has managed over his entire minutes of the season).

– Aside from his amazing pass to Rashford for the fluffed chance in the second half, is it time to wonder whether Paul Pogba’s active presence on social media is hampering his performances? Whether Rio was being an old stick in the mud or not, it can’t be merely a coincidence that his latest “on point” new hairstyle marks another below-par performance. He reminds me of Ian Poulter or Peter Wright – eccentric characters in their respective sports, whose apperance leave themselves open for ridicule when things go wrong. He needs to knuckle down and concentrate on his on-field influence rather than his marketing potential.

– The curse of the in-form visiting keepers continues. While Tom Heaton, Darren Randolph and Lee Grant all put in career performances in their respective sides earning a draw at Old Trafford, Jaku’s save on Mata was an amazing piece of housekeeping. Simon Mignolet done similar from Zlatan’s free-kick a couple of weeks ago too.

– That said, United’s profligacy in front of the posts shows no sign of ending. To resort to desperate penalty appeals against a side that started the night rock bottom is a throw-back to the Moyes era. From Rashford’s aforementioned scuffed shot, to Rooney’s fresh air shot followed by Ibra’s mis-hit volley, they look devoid of confidence. Although, Jose too should ship some of the blame as well. His public lambasting of Anthony Martial isn’t pleasant, particularly as he is the strongest option out on the left wing and is the best dribbler in the team. But then again it wouldn’t be Jose without an unexplainable rift with a first-team player.

– Probably the only player to emerge with his reputation intact is ‘Renaissance Man’ Marcos Rojo. The Argentine seems to be the only United player that bears any similarity to the Vidic mould of aggression (without potentially injuring himself in doing so ALA Jones).

– Have to start believing that top four is but a pipe-dream now. While four points off City and Liverpool isn’t exactly disastrous, the fact that United didn’t gain any ground on them two or Spurs (and didn’t capitalise on Arsenal’s customary brain-fart) on a gameweek notable for its dropped points, and yet more blood-loss inflicted at home, means outright victory in the Europa League appears to be the best avenue to Champions League football next season.

Still though, that unbeaten run in the league remains intact. Woop-dee-doo.
Brian, Wexford

Just play Mkhitaryan, Mata and Martial
Yet another opportunity for Utd to capitalise on the top four dropping points, and they sh*t the bed, against an absolute minnow. And yet again it is up front, where we have a problem in not creating enough, and not putting away what is created.

While we have the personnel, it is more a case of not having the same top four playing week in, week out. While I admire Jose’s balls for dropping Martial, as he was pants for a while, he has had a resurgence and put in some impressive performances. Jose insists he must play his way into the team, some think he already has. Yet, it is possible to also play your way out of the team. Can Mr.Rashford and Mr.Lingard please come to the top of the class?

Rashford is young, but reminds me of Welbeck on so many occasions. When playing on instinct, he is sublime, but give the lad a second or two to actually have a thought on what he wants to do, and he fluffs it. Welbeck was chronic for that, and I can see sparks of it in Rashford.

Lingard has been below par for 18 months now. A great FA Cup goal and the odd goal when we are 2-0 up is nice, but he doesn’t decide or influence games. Neither of these players have done anything significant to keep a €55 million player out of that starting line-up. Not even coming off the bench today was pretty significant. Rooney was poor again, as he has been for a while, and is not the answer when we are chasing a game.

I will bet my left nut, Lingard will get a start in the next game ahead of Rashford, and Martial will be on the bench again. Can we please, just play Mkhitaryan, Mata and Martial behind Ibra for 4-5 games. Smelling is blessed that shot hit the post, standing two yards off a player who is 10 yards from goal – just dumb. Please Bailly, recover fast, as I just do not have faith in Smelling, Gurn and Neck Diamond anymore.
Rowan, Red Devil Dub

Unlucky? No…just not good enough
One view would be that Man Utd are very unlucky to have yet again battered an opponent and not got the win. Another view would be that Hull could have had all three points with that effort late on that hit the post. I prefer to take the more considered view.

I don’t believe Man Utd can consider themselves unlucky as you are going to come up with a goalkeeper who has a blinder but that shouldn’t matter and last night I didn’t see that it was the goalkeeper that prevented Utd from winning. It is a striker’s job to hit the ball out of reach of the keeper, saves that they can’t do anything about. Like the one that hit the post and had De Gea rooted to his spot, had it been just inside the post De Gea still would have been rooted. Man U had enough chances that they should have given the keeper no chance on more than one occasion but they did not. That is not bad luck, it is poor finishing.

Chelsea are deservedly going to win the title unless something even more unlikely than Leicester winning the title happens. The faltering pack behind are just not good enough to put together a run that might put any pressure on Chelsea. Arsenal and Spurs don’t have it between the ears, Man City are too inconsistent, Liverpool are broken and Man Utd don’t convert enough chances.But of all of those chasing I think Man Utd are the one that is moving in the right direction. A little less passing across the pitch and some more confidence in front of goal and they could end the season strong. Top four and hopefully at least one cup trophy would be a good season.
Jon, Joburg

Jose and Donald…
“…see what happened here with Manchester City, what happened here with Burnley, what happened here with West Ham, what happened at Stoke, what happened almost everywhere.”

Perceived injustice everywhere against him and his hugely powerful organisation, then even exaggerating those perceived injustices, denial of injustices in their favour, attempts to intimidate the media to see things through his prism only. Hmm, this feels like a very familiar theme for 2017.

Here’s the thing, if you’ve got a string of convictions for armed robbery you will be looked upon in a different light to those who’ve been done for shoplifting down the Co-Op a couple of times.
Bobby Bear

Jose time?
Are we getting to the point where Jose goes on Sky Sports Goals on Sunday for a Jose Special, where he gets to explain all the things that are unfair against his team while the presenters nod along in agreement?
Kevin G

…“If you don’t know football, you shouldn’t be with a microphone in your hand.”

The above quote is as, if not more, disrespectful as that infamous Guardiola interview that took place a few months back. I wonder if the indignant PFM football ‘experts’ will give Darling Jose as much of a kicking as they gave Fraudiola.
Tom Smith (not a fan of either Manchester clubs, and definitely not a fan of hypocrisy)

But Jose is right…
I’m afraid Jose is right regarding Klopp and refs, Klopp has got away with some outrageous antics this season, Jose farts in the same airspace as an official he gets a fine and a ban. The ref last night was a disgrace, how he deemed Niasse fit to continue after not one but three two-footed lunges on United players I will never know. Hull players were falling down all over the place and every time without fail they were awarded a free kick, United players were booked for questioning his decisions and several times United players were clattered and nothing was given.

It may sound like sour grapes, it isn’t but this season we have been on the end of some absolutely horrendous refereeing performances I honestly think a United player could be shot, stabbed and hung in the box and we wouldn’t get a penalty. On to Hull, it’s almost as if getting a result against United is more important than staying up, cheating the manager and cheating their fans, let’s see if they put that much energy and passion in this weekend.
Paul Murphy, Manchester

Oh Jesus…
I am calling it. This lad will be a serious Ballon D’Or contender within a few years. Gabriel Jesus looks a special player already at 19. You know that feeling in your gut that you get only when the very best players are on the ball? That they could make something happen out of nothing?

Aguero on the other hand seems to have lost something over the last year or so. Not sure what, but he just drifts out of games far too often of late. He has gone from being one of those players you can’t contain as a defender, to a player that needs the game to pan out a certain way for him to have an impact. It could be the injuries, or perhaps a loss of motivation. Still a huge player, but I couldn’t help but nod along as the BT pundits suggested that if they had to choose they would pick Jesus ahead of Aguero for the next match.

As for the team as a whole, it is finally starting to look less like a group of players winding down towards retirement and more like where Guardiola wants to take us. There’s still problems in the DMF position long term, but for me it’s all about those full backs now. If we can just find the players to inject the pace we desperately need there, we will have a truly frightening first team.
Nic, Lancaster

Happy with what new contract means…
I have a slightly different opinion on contracts as Daniel Storey. I was delighted when Coutinho signed his contract but not because I believe there will be a happy ever after. If he does run off with Carol from next door, we at least know that we can cash in on the divorce settlement.

Storey is right when he says that contracts don’t mean that a player is any less likely to leave. What is does mean is that the player won’t be sold for a bargain price, when his contract approaches one year to go.

If Coutinho leaves, fair play to him. At least we know we’ll get some money when he does.
Mike, LFC, Dubai

Peter G’s weekend thoughts
* It’s amazing what you can do with five defenders, four yellow cards, and 23 fouls. Sam Allardyce got his clean sheet with relative ease, because when someone got beat, which happened now and then, there was always someone else to cover or hack. But any way you get it, a clean sheet at the Vitality Stadium is a job well done: only Spurs had managed it so far this season.

* The DVD of Southampton’s season should be called Their Eyes Were Watching Wembley. The Saints sleepwalked through the first hour at Swansea, then equalised, belatedly dominated, and finally got sucker-punched. Nathan Redmond continues to frustrate, and Dusan Tadic has faded badly. Sofiane Boufal looks a brilliant acquisition, and maybe Manolo Gabbiadini will bring the missing quality up front. But they’ll have to stay a lot more focused than they were on Tuesday.

* Absorbing match between Stoke City and Everton. Tireless playmaking from Charlie Adam and Ross Barkley, great saves at both ends (Lee Grant is one of the top three signings of the season), fantastic marking by Bruno Martins Indi on Romelu Lukaku, tactical switches on both sides, and of course the robot dance. I’ve been critical of Mark Hughes all season, but the home side showed much more here than I’d expected.

* Shkodran Mustafi fits right in at Arsenal: good enough for a Champions League spot, not good enough for a title. He covers lots of ground, tackles and anticipates well, but his marking is ordinary and in a 1 v 1 he can be a downright liability. Etienne Capoue isn’t the first not-quite-Eden-Hazard to go right by him this year.

* Burnley-Leicester was real time-travel stuff, a throwback to when everyone was a PFM and no one had heard of tiki, much less taka. Midfielders watched the ball sail back to front, and strikers leapt very high or ran very fast. Meanwhile Mike Dean was either heavily sedated or mulling over a BBC offer to be the next Dr. Who (you know it makes sense), because he showed little interest in handballs, penalty shouts, or indeed anything else in the contest. Leicester were robbed of a point, but it’s hard to have much sympathy given that they allowed 24 shots to a team averaging fewer than 10 per game.
Peter G, Pennsylvania, USA