Mails: Football’s fastest falls from grace…

Mails: Football’s fastest falls from grace…

Can we squeeze out another Mailbox before Christmas? Mail us at theeditor@football365.com

Falls from grace please…
Here’s a topic to help pull us through to Boxing Day: footballing falls from grace.

Eric Djemba-Djemba is currently playing in the Swiss FIFTH tier, nine years after leaving Manchester United.

Alberto Aquilani is rumoured to be having his contract terminated with rock-bottom Pescara in Italy, four years after leaving Liverpool.

Michu, who allegedly attracted bids of £20m in his hey-day left Swansea only at the end of the 14/15 season and subsequently signed for Langreo in the Spanish fourth tier, although he has somewhat recovered to Liga Adelente this year.

Djemba-Djemba is the biggest fall in my opinion, Michu the fastest and Aquilani’s the saddest, but I’m sure mailboxers have got more.
KC (add Depay to the list when he falls out of favour at FC Groningen in 2019)

WILSSSSOOOOOOOON
Last night, as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, I got to thinking about a former moderately decent Premier League player. I could recall several details about him – he is Honduran, played as a hard-as-nails midfielder for Wigan, Spurs and Stoke. His brother (or brother in law, or some other relation?) got kidnapped. But I couldn’t for the life of me remember his name. Something beginning with P, I was sure of it.

Eventually, my consciousness followed the right branches to get me to Wilson Palacios. About 20 minutes before my alarm went off.

Just one more day of work to get through…

Season’s greetings to all.
Chris, SAF Stand

Pardew is a genius!
Pardew must have again received a boatload of money in the form of a severance check .For doing a sub-par job, but doing just about enough to land another gig. Rinse. Repeat.
Nikhil, LFC, Chicago

…Is it irony, karma or just sheer bloody life in the PL 2016 that Pulis does well at Crystal Palace but decides to leave with his loyalty bonus and gets hit with a £5m fine while Pardew who has been about as dreadful as you could be and brought Palace into a relegation battle is fired with a £5m package?

Bet Mrs. Pulis won’t be inviting Pards around for egg nog any time soon.
Paul McDevitt

Ed is giddy after Pardew exit
Even Alan Pardew must have known this was coming. Crystal Palace have been utterly shocking this season at times. However, if supporting the Eagles has taught me anything, it’s that there is always a bit more barrel to scrape, and a new depth to plunge.

That said, the club must have a plan in place, to do it now, rather than after the Watford game. I’m writing this while I’m still giddy so the chances are they’ll make another statement before this could go up in the mailbox. There is also the possibility that they were waiting to see how much money they were going to get from the Tony Pulis case, as a ‘manager sacking warchest’ – net spend fans, the £4.8m payoff to Pardew is actually only £1m when you factor in the Pulis money.

Whoever comes in will have a talented group of attackers and some hard-working, if technically limited, defenders to work with (as our most talented defender, Pape Souare, is out injured), so they will need to get the team organised sharpish. I think it’s an honest appraisal to say the team is capable of a mid-table finish based on its players, even though this isn’t reconciled with the performances, which have been absolutely dreadful.

It’s a sad ending for someone many Palace fans wanted to see do well at our club, but ultimately, everyone runs out of patience with a manager whose excuses far outnumber his plans to stop a rot.

Christmas just got a whole lot more interesting.
Ed Quoththeraven

Look what’s coming though…
With respect to your article and question, will Pardew ever recover from the Palace role? Look at who they are replacing him with and how soon after a national ‘scandal’ he is being offered a job again. Rightly or wrongly, football in general has very short memories.
Andrew, Kildare, Ireland

A collection of musings
I have meant to write in to the wonderful mailbox many times over the past few seasons but have failed to do so due to either my point being addressed by another contributor or lack of relevance to the general zeitgeist of the mailbox. With that in mind I have decided to compile a few thoughts that have passed through my mindhole but I feel not inclined to elaborate on:

1. The introduction of timeouts to football. One each half for each manager, great tool for any scenario; under the cosh and need to rearrange things defensively, call a timeout. Misfiring up front or lack of effective movement, call a timeout. Works obviously in American sports and Rugby has essentially got it with clock stoppages for TMO decisions and what not. One each per manager, what could go wrong?

2. A bit late but on the topic of combining two players in your teams squad – Juan Mata and Jesse Lingard or Juanse Magard as I like to imagine calling him, it …them? Vision, technique and finishing of Mata with the stamina and speed of Lingard. Might just get Magard on the back of my next jersey.

3. I don’t like Wayne Rooney. There I said it. But I have to admire his attitude as he tries to surpass Sir Bobby Charlton’s goal scoring record. He is playing as a consummate professional and team player. If it was me I would be cracking shots from everywhere. Says a bit for his character, maybe.

4. On Rooney (sorry for that image) is Alexis Sanchez the player that England fans thought Rooney would turn in to? For a spell he had all the same or at least massively similar skill set to Sanchez. Pace, unpredictably, ability to chip from anywhere and tireless work ethic. Shame that Rooney thought chips were not only a lovely way to finish but an effective protein supplement.

Merry Christmas all.
John Mac, Limerick via Loch Gorman

Big Weekend’s little brother
Hull City – Manchester City. Almost certainly a win for the visitors, but plenty of interesting things to see. Hull are a different proposition now, playing on the front foot and looking significantly better overall. They pressed at White Hart Lane and stayed with Spurs for an hour – can they do the same here? Watch how high wingbacks Ahmed Elmohamady and Andy Robertson play against a side that likes to keep its attackers wide. Adama Diomandé might be preferred to Dieumerci Mbokani at striker to provide counter-attacking pace. Man City beat a flabby Arsenal without looking in any way special, and really haven’t had an exceptional performance for nearly two months. Fernandinho’s return should make a big difference, but the attack is nowhere near as crisp with Yaya Touré instead of Ilkay Gundogan, and Sergio Aguero has one more game to sit out. A wild guess this won’t be easy.

Stat: Among regular central defenders, Nicolas Otamendi leads the league in tackles per 90 minutes at 2.6, extraordinary for a team leading the league in possession.

Burnley – Middlesbrough. On paper a nailed-on 0-0, but Burnley have been scoring for fun at home. Sean Dyche has gone back to a 4-4-2, which leaves his most creative central midfielder, Steven Defour, on the bench. But Johann Berg Gudmundsson might be back from injury to help create from the wing. Neither Ben Gibson nor Calum Chambers is strong in the air, so Sam Vokes or Ashley Barnes should be a useful weapon. Boro had been working Viktor Fischer into the line-up, but he’s injured now, and Cristhian Stuani may be unavailable as well. So in an away six-pointer, Aitor Karanka faces the choice between Stewart Downing and Adama Traoré, sanity or madness. Boro’s usual approach away is to sit back, but they’ve pressed at Everton and Leicester City, and aggressive tactics seem a likely choice here. Just checked Ladbrokes, and you can get 6/1 on a 0-0.

Stat: Burnley have taken 10.88 fewer shots per game than their opponents. In the 11 full seasons for which stats are available, the bottom team in this category averages 5.8, and the worst recorded is 7.82.

Southampton – Tottenham. If you don’t count Chelsea, these two teams have the best defenses in the league, so another 0-0 possibility. Southampton fans want European football again, and if it doesn’t come through winning the EFL Cup it’ll have to come through games like this. But the Saints still haven’t beaten anyone currently above ninth place, and so have a lot to prove here. Tottenham tend to allow more chances from their right, where Sofiane Boufal and Ryan Bertrand worked to such good effect against Bournemouth. But they also tend to attack more to their opponents’ right, which is where Southampton are weaker defensively. Last year Mauricio Pochettino modulated his system over the festive period so as not to exhaust his players with pressing. Against a decent possession-oriented side like Southampton, however, the press would figure to be strong.

Stat: Tottenham rank last in the league in interceptions, at 9.2 per game. (Liverpool, another pressing side, are next to last.)
Peter G, Pennsylvania, USA

Chelsea’s winning run not impressive at all
Am I the only one not hugely impressed by Chelsea being top of the table? Leaving aside the whole ‘running away with the league’ narrative when half the season is left to play, there seems to have been some expectation that Chelsea’s squad were actually quite shite, and that 10th last season was reflective of their actual level. Based on such low expectations, the narrative now seems that this is some how an amazing turn around to be topping the table.

But Chelsea were champions only two seasons ago. Easily. By miles. With the best attacking midfielder and the best striker and the best defence. Since then they have brought in, amongst others, the best midfielder in the league (Kante), a top-quality defender with Premier League experience (Luiz), a European Cup winning winger (Pedro), and haven’t lost anyone the didn’t want to let go. Terry and Invanovic have declined, but their squad still oozes quality.

This isn’t to say that they aren’t worthy leaders, and that Conte hasn’t done a great job. But if you think of last season as being a giant Mourinho-instigated anomaly, then really, you’d expect the champions from two seasons ago with squad at their peak and number of quality additions to be challenging for the league title, wouldn’t you?
Andre E

What makes David Luiz the don…
Victor A – thanks for asking.

As a Chelsea fan I would probably say that Koscielny is the marginally better player, but your assessment of our man is unkind.

Luiz has always been a quality defender. I think he is harmed over here by some very ‘un-English’ features of his game – ball-playing, proactive, etc. – that do not fit our usual picture of a centre half. The (actually pretty rare) errors inherent in his play are also more visible – most of them a result of stepping up to try and win the ball at the wrong moment which looks pretty spectacular when it goes wrong, especially with all that hair flying around. But I would argue that (e.g.) Cahill’s pathological urge to back off and allow forwards time is just as damaging.

He has adapted very well to the new system, which has asked more of him (as the ‘sweeper’) than the other two. If you want to see him ‘make a difference’ watch his highlights from the City game. At the heart of things, tidy, and composed. (Let’s leave aside the Aguero challenge as it seems people have diametrically opposed views on the same footage.) He’s also a leader on the pitch in a team that was badly lacking them, constantly works to get the crowd going, and seems to love the club.

Obviously, winning trophies doesn’t prove anything of itself. But bear in mind his role in those trophies. He was immense in Munich, playing through a hamstring injury in a makeshift defence and arguably our man of the match (sorry Didier); I also gather from those in the stadium (bloody uni finals stole my ticket) that his absolute thunderbolt of a penalty completely changed the mood of the shootout after Mata’s miss. Same in the Europa run – he was ever present in the team and scored crucial goals against Basel in the semi.

As an aside, off the pitch he seems like a genuinely warm and kind-hearted bloke who recognises that some things are more important than football. A cynic might say it’s just good PR, but hey, he makes people happy. I was thrilled when he came back, and (give or take a few reservations about his defending) so were all Chelsea fans I know.

Feluiz Navidad everyone (sorry).
Sam, CFC SW6

Some love for Gibbs
Over the last couple of seasons I have been a huge fan of Monreal. I’ve felt he has been one of Arsenal’s most consistent players and deserves the credit he quite rightly has gained.

However, Monreal is looking short of the mark this season and what disappoints me is that very few people think that Gibbs is able to step back and regain his place.

Gibbs is a more direct wing-back and has more pace than Monreal and I feel, currently, is more of an asset to the Arsenal team.

Monreal makes more spectacular blocks (but is that because he hasn’t got back quickly enough in the first place?). They both look exciting going forward (I always feel Gibbs might produce something though…not quite sure why…maybe Gibbs will have a crack more than Monreal?).

The point I’m making, is I’m a huge admirer of them both. Monreal deserved to be first choice last season but he’s wobbling. However, I can’t understand how people are dismissing Gibbs as ‘not good enough’…HE IS, in my honest opinion. I feel he’s being targeted because Monreal is not performing at the moment and people see Gibbs as a nobody (a Ray Parlour…not a bad player at all if people took note!).

I’ve played just about every position on the pitch and in my glory days, being a pacey, goalscoring winger, was a piece of piss. Defending was the difficult job.

All I’m saying, is that Gibbs deserves to win back his left-back position (that’s coming from a huge Monreal fan!).

Arsenal are faltering all over the shop. Don’t just pick on Mr Ozil etc.
Chris, Croydon

Creating a perfect player
Position: CAM/ #10

Passing: Mesut Ozil
Finishing: Kevin De Bruyne
Pace: Theo Walcott
Dribbling: Eden Hazard
Work Rate: Alexis Sanchez
Technique: Philippe Coutinho
TC, Minneapolis

…Emmanuel Akena, great game. I’ll bite.

Position – CF
Finishing – Ruud van Nistelrooy
Aerial ability – Cristiano Ronaldo
Strength – Roy Keane
Pace – Cristiano Ronaldo (there are other contenders, Martial, David Bellion (!) but Ronaldo gets it for effectiveness of his pace)
Dribbling – Cristiano Ronaldo

I would call him Roy van Ronaldo (and he would be a one-club man)
RC, Canada

…Position: CM
Name: Ighalo Joshua (I’ll name him after myself tanks. (P.S and I was decent left midfielder for my school team as kid too))

Tackling: Kante
Marking: Kante
Passing: Xavi
Dribbling: Verratti
Aerial ability: Benteke**
First touch: David Silva
Vision and creativity: Fabregas
Ighalo, Nigeria

…The perfect player with just about every attribute imaginable? Ronaldo (Phenomenon) had everything. Pace, dribbling, good heading ability, positioning and killer finishing. But I’ll play the game anyway so here’s my take for my perfect defender (I expect most people to focus on forwards):

Anticipation: Bonucci.
Tackling: Mascherano.
Passing: Bonucci.
Aerial ability: Ramos.
Pace: Koscielny.
Marking: Godin.
Greg Tric, Nairobi
Creating the perfect player on a budget
Like the idea of creating the perfect player, but isn’t it just naming the players who are the best in their particular fields?

If you even gave Costa Walcott’s pace or Sanchez’s dribbling you’d have a heck of a player.

So my variation is you’re only allowed to use mediocre players. (Mediocre: never transferred for more than £10m – or worth obviously more than that: Scholes/Barkley/Coutinho etc).

So I’m gonna go for someone who’s as fast as Adama Traore, with the strength of George Elokobi (feel free to use past players), and finishing of Javier Hernandez.

Chuck in the skill-set of Adel Taraabt, and Andy Carroll’s height and forehead and you’ve got yourself a goal machine from right wing.

As a side-note, why do we never have tall and fast footballers? Seems all the speedsters are short with Bale and Ronaldo being phenomena in this regard. Despite sprinters being typically taller at elite level (Bolt is 6’5″).
KC (if they’re big and fast they’ll score goals)

We’ve seen the perfect centre-forward
This might get lost in all the emails about Pardiola, but in reply to Emmanuel Akena’s mail and attempt to define the ‘perfect player’ (we’re doing Thursday games too now?)…

Emmanuel you don’t have to imagine a perfect CF who combines the finishing of Diego Costa, the strength of Lukaku, the pace of Walcott, the dribbling of Sanchez and the aerial ability of Crouch (why Crouch? because he is tall? Costa and Lukaku are/Drogba was much better than Crouch at aerial ‘ability’).

The perfect CF combining all these strengths did exist and grace football pitches all over the world…Storey even did a portrait piece on him – the one, the only Ronaldo Luís Nazário de Lima, the original Ronaldo.
Vik M. – MUFC (Cristiano combines all those attributes too, other than perhaps ‘strength’ – he falls down way too easily and often…)