Mails: How to ensure you will play for Arsenal

Mails: How to ensure you will play for Arsenal

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Wenger rewards sensible haircuts
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain has played a lot better recently, he seems to have passed (see what I did there?) the mantle of thumping the ball into the stand when there are teammates free over to Aaron Ramsey. In honour of this newly discovered way to play football, can we please band together and ask him to cut his hair? He looks like Craig-Charles-as-Dave-Lister’s stunt double.

Perhaps if he didn’t look like he has a small furry rodent glued to his forehead Mr Wenger might take him with a bit more credibility and not bench him so often. Just look at Giroud last season, generic chav pile up and parting – plays a lot of minutes in almost all games. This season, Zangief from Street Fighter, just a 15 min run out each game if he’s lucky.

Even Mesut Ozil learned early on that having a Paolo Maldini cut & hairband was only acceptable to Paolo Maldini. Alexis Sanchez is the benchmark – a haircut that any parent of the 80’s would want for their son.

I won’t even start on Mohamed Elneny, just refer him to a Gervinho image search and say a large firm NO.

In conclusion, decent haircuts mean more playing time at Arsenal and is absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Sanchez/Ozil are the best attacking players by a mile (with an honourable mention to the almost sensibly-barnetted Santi Cazorla)
Paul,
Bored Accountant
London

Ronaldo v Messi
Yet another brilliant icon piece and one that concerns the best player I’ve been fortunate to see live.   Not surprising, it has again ignited the whole Messi V Ronaldo debate.  I’m not going to say one is better than the other.  We are blessed to be living in an era where they are both playing.  However, one thing I think is that you can compare them to the world of popular music.

Messi is the manufactured pop star.  Ronaldo is the rock band done good.  Both are selling out stadiums.  Both have talent.  But both are looked at differently.

Messi was spotted as a youngster, nurtured and moulded to the image the record company (Barcelona) wanted.  He is clean cut, talented, yet  everything he does is just too perfect.  This isn’t a bad thing, it’s just a little boring.   Oh look, Messi has beaten two players again to slot home the goal.  Yawn.  Seen that a hundred times.   But people prefer this perfect way of playing.  And there is nothing wrong with that.  Much like there isn’t anything wrong with liking an Adele or One Direction if that is what entertains you.

Ronaldo though is the rock n roll band.  A Rolling Stones, a Metallica, a Greenday.  He was raw in the beginning and he had to hone his talent.  Working the hours on the training pitch and in the gym is like a band working the clubs, playing every night and trying to get noticed.  It also comes with its problems when they make it.  Drugs, women, parties are the preening, the complaints about a player not passing and the ego getting the better of him.  He has diva like flaws similar to a rock band demanding a specific M & M.  He is more likely to take a risk.  When he skies a shot that he shouldn’t have attempted as a shot on goal, he is turning the volume to 11 and having a midget size Stonehenge on stage.

Neither are better than the other.  I’m just more entertained by Ronaldo.
John Morgan, Kingsbury

Couldn’t help but smile sadly reading Daniel Storey’s latest Portrait of an Icon.

To me, Cristiano defined a generation of football (with Messi). From his debut at Old Trafford, to his first free kick against Portsmouth, to the tears in Euro 2004 and his collapse on the Moscow turf when VDS won United the Champions League in 2008.

He was the hole that Becks left behind, he became the goals when RvN left, he personified style during the latter Fergie years. He was the crowning jewel of the team in 2008-09, and I have never met any United fan begrudge him that Madrid move.

I am thankful for all he has done for football, and will never forget the twinkled toed teenager skipping past Ashley Cole, bringing OT to its feet.

One of the greatest of all time, and we love to hate him.

Legend.
Kel, MUFC (Keep em coming Storey)

I just finished reading Ronaldo’s portrait of an icon. I have always enjoyed Storey’s Portraits, but I feel pained this article is more about how much Ronaldo is hated and (defence again for how much he his hated and why he shouldn’t be hated).

To be clear on that, I hate Ronaldo. But my…, the boy is a true professional. I would prefer the article focused more on how much he dragged his raw talent through sheer hardwork to be able to compete with the celestial talent of Messi. I love Messi and sometimes grief when he is on the losing side. But if my son were to ever play football, I would advise him to emulate Ronaldo for his professionalism.

The world would be a better place if everybody in every work place provided thesame level of dedication to their job like Ronaldo. He stands out here because he never allowed success to distract him. Infact he is driven more to succeed by more success. His goals per game record since moving to Madrid is out of this world. Ronaldo is the Kratos fighting in the realm of Messi’s God of War.
Drakoy (Next year will be Messi’s), Warri.

Foxy
Splendid theory by Toby Sprigings in his article this afternoon.

As was pointed out on a Leicester forum before the Man City match, we were only 3 points better off now than we were at the same stage in the ‘Great Escape’ season. So if you awoke after two years in a coma, you would assume we had not only survived for the last couple of years, but nothing really had changed and were continuing to cling on to PL status to the grim death. Then you would give yourself a stroke and return to said coma when told Leicester were participating in the last 16 of the Champions League.

I am still riding the dream here and will continue to do so for many years to come. I don’t fully subscribe to the view that we should capitalise on this moment and become a regular big player, nor should we expect to be ‘Top 6’ again any time soon. I experienced the full gamut of emotions during last season and, let me tell you, I am not sure I want to experience it year after year, nor would I ever want to get to the point where I felt we were entitled to a place at the top table by right as most fans of the big boys articulate on these pages on a regular basis. No, give me stoicism and struggling for Premier League survival any day of the week. A wish I have clearly been granted.

I know fans will dream of ‘doing a Leicester’ one day, and I hope it does happen again during my lifetime (but not for Spurs….never Spurs), because the joy stays with you even when reality intrudes again. Yesterday was a case in point – we were one of 16 participants in the Champions League draw, two of our players were in the top 10 Ballon D’or vote and one of them was also crowned African Player of the Year. Happy Days.
Rob (hoping to break into the dizzying heights of the top half again soon!) Leicester

For too long…
I was going to write to provide some defence for Karius (someone has to) but didn’t quite get round to it in time.  With that said, I couldn’t let this pass from Monday afternoon:

“For too long, Liverpool have conceded with the first (and sometimes only) shot(s) on target. Mignolet needs to come back in”

I like this game.

For too long, Liverpool have had a disorganised, brainless defence. Skrtel and Moreno need to come back in.

For too long, Liverpool have failed to score from corners.  Aspas needs to come back in.

For too long, Man Utd have had a clumsy, useless, elbowy, Screech-resembling boo-magnet in midfield. Fellaini needs to come back in.

Now you try!
JG LFC (Also, we’re just letting “Goals-himovic” go, are we? FFS)

Five things we learned from the Ballon d’Or vote
The world today loves a list of “5 things we learned”.  So here are “5 things I learned from the Ballon D’Or results”.

1. 11 people think that Jamie Vardy is better than Sergio Agüero, Kevin de Bruyne or Sergio Ramos

2. 8 people think that Pepe is better than Sergio Agüero, Kevin de Bruyne or Sergio Ramos

3. 6 people think that Rui Patricio is better than Sergio Agüero, Kevin de Bruyne or Sergio Ramos

4. Learning 5 things is harder than it looks.

I know that it’s easy to look at this in isolation and point out statistical anomalies and the like, and these things are always subjective, and the whole thing is little more than a willy-waving contest… but… seriously… nobody at all gave a vote to Agüero or De Bruyne or Ramos?  Based on quick maths, over 1,500 “votes” cast for this award… and of the footballing experts who provided their opinions, not one of them found these 3 players worthy of even a single vote?  Not even 0.06% of the vote?  Even Gary Johnson (3%) and Jill Stein (1%) did better than that (3rd and 4th in the US presidential election, for those wondering)

All I’m saying is, Jamie Vardy must be drinking his Skittles Vodka sat next to his collection of “evidence of naughty things done by the Ballon D’Or voting panel”
Terry Hall, Switzerland

I hope this is not the future
I thought I would bring to the attention of our little corner of the football world the troubling story of Millwall and their fight to keep their ground.

The excellent Barney Ronay has been covering this.

Being a West Ham fan some might think that I would take some morbid pleasure from their predicament, but I feel quite frustrated on how powerless the fans seem to be despite quite compelling evidence that something quite immoral is going on.

Anyway I won’t bore you all too much I’m just worried if it goes ahead how many other councils might see this as a good idea.
Chris, WHU, Essex.

Ten teams who have disappointed
Great insight on players in the Premier League who haven’t performed as well as expected thought i’d throw in a few teams that have disappointed across europe in their leagues so far this season they are on course for a relegation battle

10 Fenebarche-Shouldn’t be fourth behind the other two Istanbul giants and relative newbies in a country where usually third is last.would have expected to be challengers but only started the climb the table after six games.

9 LeverkusenThis could easily have been schalke who started the season by losing the first five games but their recent improvement hands the spot to Leverkusen who have dropped out of the champions league places so far not helped by the fact that little pea is not as prolific as he was last year

8 Westham (eng) – they where supposed to build on the new statement payet staying and their europe involvement instead failure to buy defender or improve the quality of the team in general has led to disaster they are current only out of the relegation spots by a point and fell out of the europe before the premiership started.

Joint 6th Dortmund (Germany) Atletico (Spain) European form has hidden the fact that they haven’t really challenged in their respective leagues after last years performances they where both expected to be among the main challengers in their leagues and possibly go a step further and win their respective leagues but things haven’t gone to plan and they are both currently sixth madrid both have reasons to be worried such as the emergence of Leipzig (for dortmund) and the sudden inability to defend resolulty (for Atletico)

5th Liecester -Nobody thought it would be easy no one expected it would be this hard it looks like we are back to the start of last season for the foxes a drop was expected but not to the extent where defeat last week would have left them one point away from the drop once again maybe having fewer games from now till february will help.

4th United – they got Jose they got the most expensive payer in the world they got an icon in Ibra they got a beast of a defender and one of the best players in the bundesliga las year to add to a team that only missed out on the chmapions league by goal difference last year so permit us all to be underwhelmed by sixth place.

3rd Valencia _ they where terrible last season but the Nevilles where supposed to be the problem welltwo managers later things have gotten worse last year they in the end barely missed out on europe this year they

2nd PSG- Sure they are still in the champions league spaces but bear with me last year they won their had won their league by march and lost just two games the second of which was lost after winning this league this year they;’ve already lost thrice and find themselves behind Monica and surprise team Nice the changes at the top where meant to take them to the next level how is that working out.

1st Inter -we where all supposed to either laugh/cry with/at Milan delete as applicable this year however their resurgence based on an admirable crop of kids and liverpool reject Suso means attention should rightly turn to their neigbours who have managed several scandalous results the tarnishing of the reputation of a promising youngish manager who has already lost his job and a scandalous european campaign.They are currently in the mid table mediocrity of 8th.

This is my opinion so far and who knows it could all change by year end.left me know if i left anyone major out.
Timi Mufc

Paul O’Pez > you
I just spent half an hour looking for information on Paul O’Pez, the Irishman!!! I’ve real work to be doing!!! You feckers!!!!!
Weldoninhio, Dublin