Mediawatch: Sherwood for England? Oh yes.

Mediawatch: Sherwood for England? Oh yes.

You know it’s a slow news day when…

‘Phil Thompson picks his combined XI of Liverpool stars who have finished as runners-up in the Premier League’ – Skysports.com.

By the way, that team contains Roberto Firmino and Nathaniel Clyne, neither of whom have finished as a runner-up in the Premier League or any other top-flight league for that matter.

Questions of the day
1. After all the cries that England’s footballers wear poppies as a mark of respect to England’s fallen, have The Sun used the word ‘war’ in massive letters on their back page on Armistice Day in order to describe Gareth Southgate’s hope that England’s team will be “streetwise”?

Yes. Yes they have.

2. Also on Armistice Day, have The Sun, who bloody love respect remember, labelled England vs Scotland as the ‘BATTLE OF BRITAIN’?

Yes. Yes they have.

Being: Harry Redknapp
On Thursday, Tim Sherwood landed the job as Swindon Town’s Director of Football. By Friday morning, PFM cuckoo clock Harry Redknapp had appeared to make his views clear on Talksport. Of course he had.

Mediawatch is going to have to break down Harry’s take line by line. Sorry.

“Tim should be managing at the top level.”

It’s the “should” that is key, of course, for it highlights the delicious sense of entitlement on show. Forget that Sherwood was over-promoted into a managerial role at Tottenham, and then given another chance in the Premier League that he cocked up. He “should” be at the top level, and it’s a scandal that he isn’t. Why? Let Harry tell you.

“He’s got a great personality, he understands the game and he’s full of enthusiasm.”

You won’t mind if we ignore the enthusiasm. Mediawatch is regularly told that we show great enthusiasm in several aspects of its personal life; it’s rarely intended as a compliment. As for the personality, well that’s in the eyes of Redknapp. One man’s good bloke is another’s irritant.

Still, you can’t argue that Sherwood ‘understands the game’, because we’re buggered if we can find anyone who can explain all this:

Sherwood does at least understand the nuances of particular roles in the team. “Players only call themselves No. 10s because they can’t score goals,” for example.

Still, we digress. Back to Harry:

“I know it sounds silly but he could manage the England team.”

Yes, it does sound silly. Because you have little to no evidence for that opinion. Because you’ve plucked it out of the ether in order to grandstand. At this stage we’re worried that Redknapp is living his managerial career vicariously through Sherwood.

“He’s got a lot of talent and I hope it’s not wasted at Swindon for too long.”

That’s it, isn’t it? That’s the single most ignorant quote in the history of PFMism. Screw managing in lower leagues to get some vital experience (WHICH HELPED YOU, HARRY). Screw adding strings to your bow. Screw the potential benefits of educating yourself away from the glare of the Premier League spotlight. It’s all about getting out quickly and into the big time again. Swindon should be lucky to be so blatantly used as a stepping stone.

To everyone other than Harry Redknapp, it’s Swindon Town (and their supporters) who receive the sympathy.

Guess who’s back?

‘Wayne Rooney has not been himself for months. Not for Manchester United and certainly not for England…We have come to expect so much from him. It seems he can longer meet those expectations…He has not played well in months, he knows that’ – Neil Ashton, The Sun, November 10.

‘There was very little conviction in his [Rooney’s] voice. Very little belief. Truth be told, he struggled to convince that he can come back from this and be his old self… It will not take long for England to move on, especially if they are convincing in Ljubljana tonight’ – Neil Ashton, The Sun, October 11.

‘THE big man is back… Life can be so, so simple. Captain, leader, England goalscoring legend… It was there, from his new position stationed out on the left, that he played himself back into the England team. It was the old Rooney, the swaggering Rooney, the razor-sharp Rooney… He thrived in his new position out on the left for United, dictating the tempo of the game, looking like the Rooney of old’ – Neil Ashton, The Sun, November 11.

In between those columns, Rooney has played 119 minutes of Premier League football. Either somebody really enjoyed that game against Swansea or really wanted to get back in Rooney’s good books.

The curse is back
On Thursday, Mediawatch examined the ‘curse’ of Scotland’s pink away kit and wondered if, just maybe, it wasn’t cursed at all. The argument rages on.

‘Scotland will wear a pink kit tonight and that could have a psychological effect,’ writes Martin Keown in the Daily Mail. ‘When I was at Everton, we had a salmon-pink kit which I remember wearing against Wimbledon. You’re not sure who you are representing – it didn’t feel like I was playing for Everton.’

We like the idea that a footballer might forget which team he was representing just by looking down at a shirt, particularly when that shirt is your club’s designated away kit and is being worn by people that you see every day.

What’s more, Keown might not have been comfortable during that game against Wimbledon, but nobody else in salmon-pink seemed to care much. Everton – including Keown – actually beat Wimbledon 3-1 in that very kit in January 1993, a month before he got a move to Arsenal.

Inside track
We do tease Neil Ashton for his Inside Track column in Friday’s The Sun, but this week’s big 750-word scoop is that the hotel where England stayed in Euro ‘96 is now not worthy of its four AA stars.

Thanks?

Arh-woooooooooooooo
Congratulations to Charlie Wyett for the tortured analogy of the day, on the subject of England’s players playing a card game in the evening after training:

‘ENGLAND stars will aim to hunt down Scotland — after playing the popular card game Werewolf.

‘Gareth Southgate’s squad held a team bonding session at St George’s Park to play what is labelled as “a party game for devious people”.

‘Two teams — werewolves and villagers — attempt to “kill” off their opponents, just like the auld enemies will be trying to do at Wembley on Friday night.’

Nailed it.

It’s raining goals

‘Star managers, the Leicester effect and a dearth of decent defenders mean it will continue to rain goals’ – Daily Telegraph.

Goals per game in the Premier League this season – 2.78.

That’s less than in 2012/13, 2011/12, 2010/11 and 0.01 goals per game higher than 2013/14 and 2009/10. Let it rain.

Ask a simple question (get a messy answer)
‘How many England and Scotland players make it into a GB team?’ asks the Daily Telegraph, offering their loyal readers another gallery feature by way of thanks. For Scotland the answer is a predictable nought, but seven England players make the grade.

We’re not saying that controversy sells, but four of those seven won’t even make England’s team tonight.

Quote of the day

“I think the FA has picked the wrong fight. It is likely to get a fine because of this. Surely all of the money that has been spent on arguments, lawyers and the fine it may get from FIFA would have been much better being donated to the Royal British Legion. It would have done far more good than this needless argument. It has commercialised the poppy more than anything else. This is supposed to be a quiet remembrance, 11 o’clock, two minutes’ silence remembering those that gave their lives, were injured and gave up so much for our freedom, for our freedom of speech” – Danny Mills.

We’re standing to applaud.

Worst headline of the day
‘Roofreshed & rampant’ – The Sun. ‘Roofreshed’.

Recommended reading of the day
Louise Taylor on Carlisle United.

Ewan Murray on the reasons for Scotland’s decline.

Jack Pitt-Brooke on William Carvalho.